Monthly Archives: August 2012

Campus Cooking

There comes a time each fall when students all over America rue the day they were conceived (and rue the fact that they thought of their conception). As do the bus drivers. But thankfully, the back-to-school rush is nothing but utter pleasure for the dedicated, intellectually starving eccentric types such as myself who enjoy gorging our grey matter with wonderful information that will most assuredly escape our brains in a few months.

Enough with the self-indulgent introduction – time for the food. My wife Kaitlyn and I have been comfortably settled in our on-campus apartment for less than a week, but the flames are bright and the boiling hot tempura oil is flying (into my face) in the kitchen. Yes, the oil was a bit hot; yes, it exploded, spraying bajillion-degree olive oil into my face; yes, I cussed out the tempura. But then I ate it aggressively and maliciously, which made me feel quite happy, inside and out.

Anyway, I figured I would share some of my recent kitchen exploits from the past three days. Here’s some homemade mac and cheese I casually threw together (note the sarcasm here). I wasn’t super excited about the recipe since the 2 cups of heavy cream that was essentially the sauce caused the dish to maintain a very dense and heavy feel (particularly for early fall). Plus, I used sharp cheddar instead of the requested aged gouda. However, it was creamy and had a tasty albiet rich flavour. Garnished with a little parmesan cracker thing I baked in the oven, fried onions, and basil from our window herb garden (visible in the background).

I also tried my hand at creating risotto for the first time. I resolved to learn this classic, fundamental dish after watching Masterchef contestants flounder during a risotto challange earlier this season. I made my risotto with vegetable stock, arborio rice, olive oil, butter, onion, parmesan cheese, lemon juice and zest, salt, pepper, and a bit of parsley to garnish. I don’t have any photos of that because we ate it all without taking a picture. Plus, it was dark. No natural light = no food photography.

I previously mentioned my tempura attempt, and this is something I should address in full. I have previously created this delicious Japanese dish of fried fresh vegetables (in this case zucchini and onion), but this time I was limited by a small fondue pot and minimal amounts of olive oil. Yes, you’re probably thinking, “This dude displays ludicrous inferiority in the realm of tempura fabrication – who makes tempura in a fondue pot?” and I completely agree with your musings. For my batter I used 1 cup of flour and 7 oz of Pellegrino sparkling water. However, I am beginning to realise that Pellegrino may not contain enough CO2 for a light and crispy batter, so I recommend purchasing some super sparkly seltzer if you want to make a light and crispy tempura.

So that’s all. I just wanted to do a quick post (since it’s been five thousand years since my last one) and show off Kaitlyn’s food photography (once again, click HERE to see more of her work). Happy eating, and for all you college and grad students out there, I promise you’ll get a job someday. The economy isn’t as bad as they say 😉

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The Cafe Lifestyle

Today, the entire cafe experience has transcended a physical four-walls-and-a-ceiling space where people enjoy hot and cold (and significantly expensive) beverages and loiter for annoyingly long periods of time. It has traveled beyond the quick morning cafe pick-me-up (which is what 5-Hour Energy and gas stations are for anyway). It has become a marketing ploy used by McDonalds (McCafe sound familiar?), Starbucks, and trendy fair-trade suppliers. Most importantly, it has become a lifestyle.

Forgive me, I mispoke. The cafe experience has always been a lifestyle until it was capitalised apon by said Starbucks and McDonalds. But before all this corporate money mongerers stole the cafe identity, it came from somewhere original, unique, avant-garde, creative, and it came from people who lived and breathed coffee and tea and dedicated their entire lives to pull one great espresso. True, most of these aficionados hailed from France or Italy (or anywhere else in Europe, for that matter) but something can be said about the classic cafes within American borders which chains like Starbucks strive so hard to imitate. There really is something about those indie, hipster-riddled cafes stocked with beans who’s names no one can pronounce. Everyone recognises it, everyone can feel and see it, but it is so intangible that no one can really put a definition on it or truly capture its essence.

I love coffee and tea. I always have. Now, I must state a disclaimer: in light of my previous anti-Starbucks comments, I must admit that Starbucks’ anniversary blend of aged sumatra beans is what originally got me hooked on coffee. Thankfully, since then, through the help of numerous cafe’s and my coffee-geek of a brother, I’ve been able to expand my coffee palate and have regrettably become a coffee snob. I find it impossible to drink anything that hasn’t been prepared with a pour-over, french press, or, my favourite, coffee syphon. Therefore, in homage to the world of truly great cups of coffee and tea, I shall share with you some of my favourite cafes in America that truly embody this intangible coffee house lifestyle and experience. Cafe’s are listed in no particular order – all are equally amazing and unique.

1. Paradigm Coffee and Music – Sheboygan, WI – Though Paradigm does not offer pour-overs or syphon brews, Paradigm provides, to me, the epitome of the cafe experience. The place is decorated with dozens of unique bicycles and stocked with random, beautifully mismatched furniture. In the back of the cafe you’ll find Sheboygan’s first co-op, Goodside Grocery, run by nature child volunteers. Paradigm carries Rishi tea and Alterra coffee, as well as cafe sandwiches and snacks.

2. Intelligentsia Coffee Roasters – Chicago, IL – I am convinced that Intelligentsia offers the best cup of coffee you will discover in the continental United States. The cafe specialises in pour overs, syphons, and the aforementioned beans with unpronounceable names. The place is very chill, very cool, and more refined and sparse than most cafes. They also carry their own brand of tea, including a $7.oo oolong.

3. Metropolis Coffee Roasters – Chicago, IL – I’ve spent a lot of time in Chicago and Metropolis is one of my favourite spots. I prefer the chaotic and artsy atmosphere to Intelligentsia’s more austere interior, and the coffee is nearly just as good.

5. Kickstand – Lincoln Park, Chicago, IL – Kickstand is a tiny hole-in-the-wall near the Blue Man Group Briar St. Theatre in Lincoln Park. They feature Metropolis Coffee and I enjoyed a beautiful Ethiopian Yirgacheffe, a bean my brother got me hooked on.

6. Alterra on the Lake – Milwaukee, WI – Built into a beautiful old house and positioned directly across from Lake Michigan, Alterra naturally features Alterra coffee and teas. Alterra is, in my opinion, one of the best roasters around and their tea selection is unique and delicious.

7. Spiderhouse – Austin, TX – My wife Kaitlyn is from Austin and introduced me to this place. I have to say that Spiderhouse is one of the coolest places I’ve ever been in my entire life. Everyone there is so cool, I feel like the lame nerd with coke-bottle lenses and headgear when I step in – but a frequenter of Spiderhouse could make even that look cool. Spiderhouse carries a very simple beverage menu that highlights espresso and Yerba Mate, one of my favourite teas (other than Genmaicha). They also carry Kombucha on tap.

8. Kavarna – Green Bay, WI – I would never expect to find a hipster haven in Green Bay. Conveniently enough, I didn’t have to. My brother discovered this place and introduced it to my family. Kavarna features a vegetarian menu and a very diverse drink menu.

9. Gallery Espresso – Savannah, GA – Savannah is the most artsy city in the south, and the cafes are no exception. Gallery Espresso carries one of the most diverse tea selections I’ve ever seen in a cafe – its almost like stepping into a Teavana, but less commercialised and overmarketed and more unique and archetypal. Espresso beverages are decent also, but I would recommend stopping by and trying one of their literally hundreds of tea varieties.

10. The Sentient Bean – Savannah, GA – This place is amazing. I visited this cafe a number of times during my trip to Savannah, and once attended a showing of the film “The Day of the Triffids,” sponsored by the Psychotronic Film Society of Savannah. It is also the number one ranked independent film venue in Savannah. Great outdoor area, very quirky interior and staff, delicious bakery and cafe snacks, and an interesting beverages.

So there you go. I regret that my list does not include more diverse locations, but at the moment my travel budget is quite minimal. I’ll continue to update this list as I taste and experience.

My brother roasts and sells coffee beans and it would be great if you would check out his website here.

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Of Cheese, Bread, and Mansions


If you’ve ever studied history or viewed a BBC made-for-tv film, you very well know that back in the 1800’s, numerous wealthy unemployed heirs and heiresses built massive vacation homes on beautiful lakes to entertain pretentious guests and to honour the memory of their dead lovers. Then, years later, the indulgent and business-oriented American tourism industry workers or restaurateurs or entrepeneurs purchased these estates and converted them into restaurants, B&B’s, or novelty interactive theatre experiences.

You may assume that I am approaching this private estate-to-restaurant concept in a pejorative context, but you mistake my dry, cynical sense of humour for pessimism. Conversely, I greatly appreciate the restoration and maintainance of these estates and the fact that this has allowed the general public, myself included, to enjoy the experience in a contemporary context that spoiled, rich kids with fancy outfits were able to enjoy in the 1800’s, without the necessity to put on a false venier for my false-veniered guests. Instead, we are all allowed the pleasure to dress up in period clothing and simply have fun.

One such previously private lake-side estate is the Baker House in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin. It is rumoured that Steven Spielberg has a house on this beautiful oasis in the middle of farmland southern Wisconsin, and it is clear to me that the sole purpose of the existence of the town of Lake Geneva is to bring pleasure and relaxation to its inhabitants and visitors. And that it does, indeed. I’ve worked in the town of Lake Geneva for two summers now, and as the 2012 summer work season comes to a satisfying close I finally had the opportunity to visit the Baker House with my wife Kaitlyn.


The Baker House has been beautifully maintained and converted into a restaurant and B&B. I’ve passed the house hundreds of times and was always intimidated. I presupposed that this restaurant’s occupants were groups of middle-aged rich white ladies and gentlemen in black-tie attire, sipping expensive glasses of wine and gazing down at me from behind their protuberant noses. I was pleasantly surprised to discover the opposite of this assumption was true.

We entered the restaurant and were seated fifteen minutes earlier than our scheduled reservation. We were greeted by the sights and sounds of the 1800’s: young and trendy waitstaff disguised in period dresses and suits with long coattails and matching formal gloves and tophats. The sound of a live pianist jamming out to the Billboard Top 40 list from 1884. Rooms that had not been converted to a typical restaurant interior, but instead left almost exactly as they might have been when occupied by the Baker Family before the surrounding trees were chopped down and replaced with ugly hotels on either side of the building and a busy road in front. I felt as if I were a guest of the Baker’s for a fabulous dinner party. The only thing I was missing was a tophat.

We were served by a very friendly southern lady named Peach, decked out in a frilly black-and-white dress, complete with the flowery hat and veil. The restaurant’s menu is very unconventional for Lake Geneva and features an almost tapas-esque selection of dishes. We chose the gruyere and white wine fondue with delicious breads and fresh apples in conjunction with the Bruschetta Italiano (pictured above). We were also cajoled by our waitress into sampling a Sprecher’s cherry cola.


The fondue was delicious. Gruyere is a wonderful cheese. The slightly sweet, salty and nutty flavours were beautifully complimented by the tangy and minutely sharper accents of the wine. The flavours of the fondue wonderfully accompanied the soft, fresh breads, but emerged as a Holy Trinity when completed by the crisp and sweet green apples.


As our meal ended, the jovial sounds of dining and piano music were interrupted by the racous clambour of ringing bells. Kaitlyn, myself, and the other guests were escorted to the lawn to partake in the Baker House tradition of the sunset toast. Complimentary champagne and strawberry lemonade were served, and the current owners provided a brief history of the building and offered a toast to the sunset.


The toast to the sunset is performed every night during the summer and for me emphasised the unique, personal, and intimate experience of the Baker House. It reiterated the notion that I was indeed a guest of the now long dead (and supposedly living on in ghostly forms within the house) Baker family and for the first time at a restaurant I felt at home, I felt like I belonged, and I felt like I was a rich heir with nothing better to do than entertain my well-dressed, equally wealthy guests. The Baker House features a fun, unique, nearly escapist experience that emphasises the purpose of the meal in the context of community and pleasure and paints an accurate picture of the true purpose of tourism, relaxation, and the overall reason that towns like Lake Geneva exist.

All images displayed in this post were artfully captured by my wife and food photographer Kaitlyn Newberry. Please take a moment to visit her food photography blog at here.

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Not Just for Beef Anymore

Indeed, the cool, chilly, blustery rains of mid-August are apon us, and though summer grows weary of tormenting the inhabitants of any warm climate with blistering sun and severe dehydration, it is not too late to once again bust out the grill. There is a sort of unwritten rule regarding summer cuisine and what instruments are required to create it, and I firmly propose the grill is just the instrument necessary to comply with said rule.

However, whenever anyone mentions ‘summer grilling,’ I typically identify the charcoal- or wood-sourced flame device with beef: beef franks, hamburgers, or steak. I question, what has become of casual cuisine? Has the summer merrymaking crowd no originality, no culinary drive, no inventive spirit that calls out the fat little French chef in all of us? Okay, true, many entertainers on the Fourth of July, Memorial Day, Labor Day, or any other summer holidy (National Cheesecake Day, for example) prefer a simple, quick, cheap, easy, and delicious entree that guests can enjoy on paper plates and napkins that will most certainly meet a toasty end during the evening’s campfire, so I can hardly blame anyone for settling with beef on the grill.

However, I can do my best to coax that psychotic little fat French chef out of you. Indeed, the grill is a beautiful instrument that brings out the natural flavour of any given meat or vegetable whilst adding a rustic, bold, and earthy flavour to the ingredients. Basically, you can use it for anything. So, in honour of our unwritten law, inner chefs, easy and delicious summer treats, and our upcoming Labour Day grill-a-thons, I shall reluctantly loosen my grip on my absolute favourite summer grill recipe: the unforgettable, the transcendent, the utterly life changing, Bacon-Wrapped, Cheese-Stuffed, Grilled Jalapeno Pepper.

I could continue to spout eloquent and indulgent verbosity regarding this treat, but there’s no point in any further prevarication. Here’s how its done.

What you need:

Jalapeno Peppers (get extras; you, your family, and your guests will probably want to eat a few handfuls. You can also use other varieties of similarly sized peppers, but I ultimately enjoy Jalapenos)

Bacon (I once created this dish using very expensive, thick-cut bacon from Miesfield’s Market in Wisconsin. This is a decision I would not recommend as it makes even cooking difficult, though I do recommend thick bacon for solo consumption. The thin, cheap, Oscar Mayer stuff will suffice for this dish)

White Mexican cheese (Fresh Mexican cheeses will not melt all over you’re beautifully scrubbed grill. Instead, it softens wonderfully and maintains shape. Queso Blanco works very well and has a flavour similar to Monterey Jack or Mozzerella. I also made a batch using Pepper Jack. The outcome was fairly positive)

That’s it. Three ingredients.

Slice the jalapenos in half from stem to tip and remove the seeds. Slice off the stems as you wish.

Slice the queso blanco into rectangular prisms that will fit into the jalapeno halves.

Wrap in bacon and fasten with a toothpick. Remember to soak the toothpicks in water to prevent combustion (and coal in your teeth).

Grill until bacon is evenly and thoroughly cooked.

Eat twelve dozen, refusing to share with hungry friends and family.


So, next time you bust out the grill for summer festivities, I would advise you not to settle for a slab of beef, a patty of ground beef, or an intestine stuffed with pureed beef. Take the inspiration you found here. Start with the peppers, then branch out to cactus and peaches. Integrate ingredients prepared on the grill with other more complex dishes. There is literally no limit to what you can cook on the grill.

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Once a year in downtown Chicago, thousands of businessmen and women get incredibly frustrated. That’s right, a generous portion of roads and streets used by commuters in cabs, busses, and Mercedes are blocked off so a bunch of scene kids and hipsters can tear up the grass in Grant Park – but tearing up the grass to some of today’s best independent artists. If you have not already guessed from the title of this post, I am speaking (or rather clicking away at my keyboard in a Caribou in Lake Geneva) about the sensory overload known as Lollapalooza.

Thankfully, other than the senses of hearing (usually really delicious audibles, unless you’re near the stage known as Perry’s) and smell (typically unpleasant unless you’re near Chow Town or Green Street, where the scent of freshly-juiced wheat grass is particularly potent), the sense of taste is gloriously highlighted in a beateous realm know as Chow Town. Divided into two parts, Chow Town North and Chow Town South, Chow Town features a diverse taste of some of Chicago’s best restaurants disguised in skins of metal and tarp in a typical county-fair-esque row of food stalls. Chow Town is organised and arranged by famed Chicago chef Graham Elliot, owner of Graham Elliot Restaurant, Grahamwich, and g.e.b., a new and particularly intriguing restaurant (everything on the menu is composed of only three ingredients). For a full list of restaurants featured at this year’s Lolla, check out this link. Please take a moment to click on it, take notes if you like, but really, please, if you’re ever in Chicago, try some of these restaurants (Particularly Grahamwich and Chizakaya).

Great. Now that you’ve an idea about the diverse cuisines available at Lolla, I shall relay in detail our scrumptious experience. Ah, I might as well start out with Grahamwich. My wife and I wandered slowly through Chow Town, gazing in awe at each booth’s menu. The restaurants had managed to convert gourmet dishes and ingredients into delicious street faire food. Incredible. We stopped at Grahamwich and noticed two menu items: the lobster corndog, 10$, and the white truffle and pamesan popcorn, 5$. We approached timidly and asked if Graham was around. We were told he was somewhere in the park and if we came back later, there was a good chance we’d see him. We wandered a bit more, attended some shows, then returned to the booth for a snack. Since Kaitlyn and I are inherently cheap (and presently poor), we decided to go with the less economically detrimental option and purchase a sack of truffle butter popcorn. But not before I began to freak out; as I stared through the heads of attendees, I saw a white pair of glasses on a very large, meaty head: it was GRAHAM ELLIOT, in the flesh.

He was there.

We hurried in and got our popcorn, then stood and watched as two girls snapped a photo with him. I was freaking out. My heart started pounding, I continuously repeated the phrase “there he is!”, and Kaitlyn grabbed my arm and told me to chill out. We cautiously approached the booth, and Kaitlyn asked if she could ask him a question. He eagerly and graciously obliged. Kaitlyn asked him about food photography, and Graham replied with a line I will never forget: “You want the food to look like you stumbled upon it walking through the forest. It should look natural.” I then realised that I finally had a great view of his tattoos. Whenever I watch Masterchef, I try to figure out what the heck is tattooed all over his massive, burly arms. I stared at them as he talked about how to break into the food photography industry, and the only thing I could fully identify was a penguin attached to a propellor jetpack.

Kaitlyn thanked him, and we both shook Graham’s massive, rugged chef hand. He smiled at us, and it was over. We had met Graham Elliot.

We enjoyed the popcorn immensely. It was flavourful, salty, peppery, cheesy, and, best of all, crossover gourmet-to-street cuisine. It was beautiful, and it was popcorn.


We also purchased an Asian Pork Belly Slider from the booth owned by Chizakaya. It was four dollars for a few bites, but those bites were transcendent. My body stayed in Chicago, and my soul went to a realm somewhat like Tokyo, but with less overpopulation and more Masaharu Morimoto’s on LSD. The pork belly was tender and flavourful, accompanied by sliced scallions, an Asian barbecue sauce, fried garlic, and served on one of those white, soft, Asian buns. Those few bites changed the way I understand contemporary cuisine, particularly in the realm of gourmet-to-street cuisine, and in many ways defined it for me.


This little bun cost four dollars. When I finished eating it, I told Kaitlyn that I have a particularly pejorative reaction when I discover the food has a size:price ratio such as this. However, when we finished, I decided that it was one of the best four dollars I’ve ever spent.
We also ventured in to Green Street where we purchased a vegan hummus and sprout wrap and some vegan tamales in honour of the true roots of the avant-garde music and food scene. Gaze upon them for a moment.Image

You have just observed a digital image of a large amount of home-made vegan hummus and very developed bean sprouts wrapped in an all natural, whole grain tortilla-type-thing. I felt fifty years younger after snacking on this recrementitiously healthy roll of life.


This is Kaitlyn with the tamales. The tamales don’t look like much here, but they were very fresh, very healthy, and very pleasurable to consume. There’s not much more I can say, and honestly if you’ve read this far, I’m just as tired of writing this as you are of reading it (which means, of course, if you are not tired at all, neither am I. Shall we continue?).

That’s about it – the essentials of our Lollapalooza adventures in the sensory realm of taste. I would rather not brag about the wonderful bands we were able to enjoy (including, but not limited to, Sigur Ros and of Monsters and Men, visible below), so I shall refrain from doing so.


Of Monsters and Men.


Jonsi of Sigur Ros.

Alright, let’s wrap this up with a hasty closing statement. When Lollapalooza rolls around next year, I definitely suggest that you drop a month’s worth of rent and attend. Honestly, those business people need a nice good annoyance once and a while.

For more images and food photography, visit Kaitlyn’s blog here.

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Spring Rolls

I stared at my fairly empty website for a few moments, deliberating. I would very much enjoy stocking my page with restaurant reviews, both scathing and gracious – but alas, reviews of local restaurants are entirely irrelevant to anyone beyond a fifteen mile radius of the given eatery.

Then I remembered: spring rolls.

Let me explain. A few nights ago, my wife and I travelled north along Lake Michigan to my parents home. What stood in their kitchen, lying in wait to be sliced, sauteed, baked, fried, etc., was a bountiful harvest from the local farmer’s market. I was initially frustrated and confused about what I should create from this multitude of home-grown edible crops, but we finally threw together a light watermelon gazpacho (made with a billion dollar bag of Xanthan gum), thai tofu spring rolls, some marinated eggplant with peppers and onions, and finally some blackened catfish with basil and sweet corn cream sauce.

But as this entry is titled ‘spring rolls,’ it is clear that I must now move on to the main point, which is, of course, ice cream.

My parents had some of those rice based spring roll wrappers laying around so my wife and I resolved to recreate our favorite thai appetizer. I would like to therefore, out of the kindness of my culinarily adventerous and incorigible heart, spread the gospel of easy asian appetizers across the land, like Johnny Appleseed or Jesus. Just think about that one for a moment. It may or may not make sense in a few decades.

Because we’re cheap/we didn’t have any access to freshly captured, innocent little delicious tiger shrimp we settled for tofu as the backbone and protein for our springrolls. Here’s how its done:

1. Shred copious amounts of carrots
2. Chiffonade or finely chop into strips copious amounts of lettuce (whatever kind of lettuce you have available, or, if you prefer, indulge yourself with a bit of lollo rosso, cress, whatever floats your boat).
3. Once you have the veg prepped, take some oil – wok oil, sesame oil, vegetable oil, olive oil, white truffle oil, whatever kind of oil (other than the kind used for making gasoline or greasing engines) and fry up the tofu with a little fresh ground pepper and rock salt. Remember to use a towel and slight from your hand to press the water out of the tofu before frying. I typically use firm tofu as it tends to hold its originally intended form during the cooking process. I also recommend slicing the tofu into long, thin rectangles to fit the shape of the cylindrical spring roll. Throw the tofu on some paper towel post-fry to drain the oil.
4. At some point, you should also cook up some very thin rice noodles. Strain them, pop ’em in a bowl and chill until its time to assemble your appetizer.
5. Set up your workstation: make sure you have a clean cutting board with access to all your ingredients.
6. Acquire your spring roll wrappers. If you are unsure about the asian stock of your local market (or massive domineering corporate superstore), here’s a quick link with more info on spring roll skins: (link to gourmetsleuth definition of spring roll skins)
7. Dip two stacked spring rolls skins, one on top of the other like two sheets of paper, in warm water for about 5 to 10 seconds. When you take the skins out, they will continue to absorb water, so it is exorbitantly acceptable if they are still a bit stiff when you remove them from the water. Lay the skins on the cutting board, drop the tofu in the middle, followed by carrots and lettuce, and finally plop some of those noodles on top.
8. Carefully roll up your little asian taco by folding in two ends and wrapping up one side. Once three sides are sealed, push in the ingredients so they don’t flop out, then carefully and tightly roll up and seal the last side. The skins, now wet, will easily stick together like annoying cling wrap, so be careful at this point.
9. Serve with your favourite asian sauce. I love thai peanut sauce, it causes me to grin. As Sigur Ros so elequently states, “Inní mér syngur vitleysingur.” Inside of me, a fool sings. That is what happens when I straight up drink a pint of peanut sauce.

For a visual, check out my wife Kaitlyn Newberry’s food photography blog – clicking on this link will transport you across cyberspace.

But the fun doesn’t end there. Ohhhhh, no it does not indeed. The beauteous aspect of these versatile spring roll skins is that they are so, well, versatile. Try stuffing them with fruit and dipping in yogurt. Or stuffing with chocolate and ice cream and bananananas. Whatever your favourite desert is, you can get super creative and make it asian by stuffing it into a spring roll skin (not really asian, but you know what I mean. Maybe I should instead say, ‘whatever your favourite desert is, you can get super creative and make it FUN by stuffing it into a spring roll skin” because we all know that desert is the most excessively boring meal of the day).

Well, my work is done here. I’ve done enough spring roll proselytising for one day. Now go out into the world and make spring rolls from all nations, dipping them in peanut sauce, yogurt, and chocolate ice cream. Amen.

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